Purposeful Power Player

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I truly not to be angry for all the decisions I have made regarding men. But nevertheless, deeply I know I am still very hurt and angered by all the crap I have endured over the years from men.

I know I played a role, by being co-dependent and I allowed for things to happen to me because I didn't be more forthright or speak up more often.

And now I feel like I am suffering for those choices I made. I hate fact that made those choices.

And I can't stand the fact they took advantage of me....of my niceness and they used me.....and I never really got much out of the situation. I allowed them to dictate to me how things were going to flow and perhap because of my low self esteem at the time, I thought they knew best...but all the while I was screaming and dying inside because I felt I was getting what I deserved from them.

I will admit...even though people say you gotta love yourself first....it's so much harder because how can you love yourself, if you think no one else will love you.......