Purposeful Power Player

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

When I am hurt...

I really hurt....but after reading passages from Battlefield of the Mind - Devotional 100 Insights That will Change the Way you Think.... I feel a little better this morning.

I had to vent and get it out....I was sooooo upset last night....I felt like the walls were caving in on me again. I felt ill. I felt used. I felt like I wanted to die.

I guess my true issue is...I had moved on with my life. I was dating and meeting new people until my ex came back. I was in a happy place regardless if I missed him. Missing him didn't mean I wanted him to come back. I just meant I missed him. But I was dealing with it. I was doing me. I was getting on with my life. I still do not understand why he decided to come back if he wasn't coming back to be with me. What is the point?

He says to be my friend. But that's something I have grow into. Why he thinks I can just jump from being a lover to a friend because he said it in one sentence is beyond me....

I'm not a superhero...and my emotions aren't like the water works...I just don't turn them on and off when the need suits me.