MANLAW #2 & FEMALE LAW #1 - Social Networking

 MANLAW #2 and my FEMALE LAW #1.

Time to discuss social networking web sites and the interactions between men and women.  This is somewhat of a touchy subject. I have personally been involved in the bull crap that happens on these web sites. 

Message boards were really my first experience in dealing with social (sexual type) interactions between males and females on the Internet.  It's the free way to Internet dating.  I met my ex this way. He and I were both on at least three different message boards together.  I thought it was cute because we openly posted our responses, but sharing love notes in the private message inbox.  Little did I know he was sharing "love notes" to a whole lot of females. When it was all said and done I had found out about at least four girls he was private inbox messaging behind the scenes on three different messages that we were both members of.  ARRRRGGGHHH!!!! 

Men and their lies. The lies, lies, lies. And then men want to know why women are so "crazy"...well for one - women NEVER know when a dude is telling them the truth.  That's why women do the things they do...trying to figure out the truth. SNOOPING IS LOOKING FOR THE TRUTH!  It's funny because men get all mad when women are caught snooping...well if he would have told the truth in the first place there wouldn't be any reason to snoop! um...HELLO!!!! 

FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS A REACTION!!!!  Thus, if a male puts out a negative action, nine times out of ten the reaction is going to be just as negative with a little bit of boost!  It's like science, people. More negativity begets more negativity.  This is on both parts because when the female is now totally disgusted at what has transpired she takes it to another level...and so does he...to the point it gets out of control.  

This can all be avoided...with these two simple laws...

MANLAW #2

Don't lie.  If you're NOT in a TRUE committed relationship with a woman....you and this female that you're sexin' or planning on sexin' are on the same social networking website(s), tell the woman that you have other "friends" and they too are on the website(s).  I'm not saying...let me repeat...I AM NOT SAYING you have to tell us which women are the friends with the benefits or the extras...but don't make the girl you're focusing on that minute feel extraordinary special...knowing you've got ALL women you're seeing feeling extra special - just keep it on the up and up with everyone...all its takes is ONE to start dropping pet names, kisses, hearts in the view of the public that will start some shit behind the scenes. [Or in my case some stuff up front for all to view and comment on]

FEMALE LAW #1

My sistas. I know I know. It's hard. There are more single women out there competing for the limited amount of single men. Only limited because we each have a preference of the type of man we want. And yet men have this buffet to choose from and they do.  The scales are so unbalanced.  It's definitely a competition...even among the closest of single lady friends. 

I do wonder if women of other cultures and races go through the same things that Black women deal with when it comes to Black men. Why does it seem like white girls have no trouble finding a man...falling in love...getting married...etc.....is it because there are more white men?  But then we have to compete with other women of other races for the affections of Black men...this further lessens the pool of Black men. Not to mention, of course, the obvious...gay men, men in prison, homeless men, drug addicted men....etc.... 

Ladies, we must not allow ourselves to get emotionally involved with these cats we know are working the online social networking scene. It's okay to have fun. Get your jollys....but don't let your emotions to enter into the picture. We know the cloth these dudes are cut from and that cloth is not suit material....they are Bermuda shorts at best...seasonal...not a lifetime. 

So if he follows MANLAW #2 and tells you what the deal is...you are fully aware of what you're getting into. And by doing so you FULLY EXCEPT the situations/occurrences/drama/bullshit or what happens from choosing to deal such a male if you get emotionally involved. You have no one but yourself to blame...YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM!!!! Please do not think your sex is going to be the best and that will draw him in. Sex comes in flavors. It just depends on what flavor he is looking for...Maybe your head game is tighter than the other chick, but her "snatch" is wetter than yours and she can do back flips....lol  Sex is not what draws a man in. It's a slice of a factor to a total package. Who knows what makes a male decides she is the one...

However, if he does not follow MANLAW #2 and you are feeling all giddy and special, but you're seeing signs that other women are competing for his affections as well....you must make a decision.  You have options...choices....

1.  Ask him about it - be respectful - do not accuse.  Then make a subsequent decision based upon his answer. 

2.  Cut it off with him with no explanation....jet.  Or even bow out gracefully. 

3. Continue on and join the competition.  Keep on thinking your game is top notch and you're in it to win it.

All this to say...the interactions between the sexes has to get better.... 

I think being single is a bitch. There are many of days I don't like it...other days I appreciate it. But humans are social creatures and we crave the interaction of others on some emotional level.  It's just too bad that some people play with it like it's a game of some sort.  *singing* You are not alone...I am here with you...... 

*The REAL TALK BLOG has an RSS feed to my Facebook Notes page, NetworkedBlogs and my ZETAZEN Author's Page on Amazon.com  - The Real Talk Blog is also linked to Twitter through my Twitterfeed.

Update on Sunday, September 13, 2009 at 2:44PM by Michelle S Carey (pka Michelle R Sweeny) & ZETAZEN

Well Sinner X is at it again...giving the male counterpoint to my MANLAW#2. This is truly entertaining! Enjoy!!!

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Female Law #2 – Believe what you know.

On 09.13.09, In Uncategorized, By SinnerX

So Manlaw #2 has been posted by Zetazen and you know I have to reply. My short version of what she says, “Guys, if you on social networking site banging a bunch of women, tell them.” Not a quote or even paraphrase. Go read her post first then come back. I mean, I didn’t take the time to hyper link it for nothing. That quote is for you lazy blokes who won’t do it and will read on anyway.

Ladies, hopefully you are on the road to recovery from Golden Cooteritis ™ as discussed last week. If not, go back and read my prior post on Female Law #1. Well these week I am gonna further deprogram your Cooter.

Zetazen’s post focused on truth in advertising from men on online dating sites. Well, I’m gonna go a bit broader than that, but use online dating sites as an example. When you suffer from Golden Cooteritis(tm) you have a symptom called “I Refuse to Believe Anything That Ruins My Fantasy”(tm) or IRBATRMF(tm) for short. Now what happens is this, you start thinking that the stuff your eyes see and your ears hear is not real.

Let’s go back to online dating for a minute. You log in and create a profile. A lot of places even let you sign up for free. Did you ever wonder why? No, you probably just assumed that having a Golden Cooter(tm) you deserve it. Well, the reason your account is free is because the website owner knows that there are exactly 16,000,000,000 horny men looking for 100,000 women on the internet. So to entice men to the site, lots of them offer free accounts to women.

This is an important point. There are a lot of horny men on these sights. There are also relatively fewer horny women. A lot of the horny women are getting hits from the same men. Is the light bulb starting to warm to a mild shine? That’s right, you can pick the man, but the man is likely screwing, fucking with, or talking to more than one woman if he’s any kind of catch. It is simple math. If he’s good enough to get your attention, he’s probably got the lady sitting to your online left’s attention as well. You and she have likely weeded out the same cache of losers, trolls, degenerates, and perverts, leaving exactly 25,000 good men to your 100,000 women. Of course the IRBATRMF(tm) effect leaves you blind to this fact. Instead you assume that he’s only talking to you.

Now, where were we, oh yeah, so you have your profile set up, and instantly get hit on by horny mean before you’ve even uploaded your photo. The rate of man hits goes up exponentially once you put up a photo. If it is a sexy photo the rate simply sky rockets. You then start selecting from the prospects. Sometime it is you searching and finding someone to bless with your Golden Cooter(tm) and other times it just you responding.

As you start to read his fonts, you know the characters on the computer screen, you start to get emotionally invested in your guy. You may have even given him some Cooter. You guys talk about love, marriage and maybe even a baby carriage, But wait, is he really your guy? Does he feel the same way? Giving a man your Cooter does not make him “your guy”. The Curse of the Golden Cooter(tm) and the IRBATRMF(tm) effect has you blinded to the facts.

Now let’s revisit what’s going on with you and your guy(s). You have an online profile for dating. So does he. So why do you assume that he’s not dating other folks from the site? And if he’s told you that he’s not, then why aren’t you suspicious? Why aren’t you guarding the most precious thing, your heart? You’ve been tricked by the Curse of the Golden Cooter(tm).

So, if you see that he’s still on the site, and his profile is still up, then why does he have to tell you anything more? I mean, the evidence is right before your eyes. He’s there, on a dating site, dating. Take a little personal responsibility and not be gullible. It is a harsh truth, but no one is responsible for your emotional happiness and finding a good mate, but you.

So ladies, in short, Female Law #2 is believe the shit your eyes see and your ears hear respective to your love interests. If you go to his apartment and see evidence of some other female being in his bed, it is because she was there. If you go to his online dating profile, and it is still up, it is cause he’s still on there dating other people besides you. You and he are there looking for the same exact thing, the person who will make you take down your profile and stop dating. As long as the profile is up then obviously things have not progressed to monogamy ville.

What should you do now that you’re eyes are open? Keep working on your relationship with him. Or start back searching for someone else worthy of your love. Whatever you do, for heaven’s sake don’t attack the other woman, she too is suffering from IRBATRMF(tm).