Purposeful Power Player

Monday, September 04, 2006

What I learned this summer....

So now it's September and the summer is over.....and I learned a lot. It was a blessing that my ex and I parted ways....he needed to take his journey and I needed to take mine.

I learned who I really loved over the summer...and that was ME. I love me...and all of who I am. I learned I have always carried the inner strength within me...that I am wisdom, I am light, I am the sun.

I learned over the summer that my ex was lost and through this experience it has placed him on the path to truth, the path to light, and the path to his spiritual awakening.

I learned that no matter how much money you make, what kind of car you drive and how many things you've gained and owned materialistically... it doesn't mean a person wants you...all those things do not make you. Those "things" are just that....things...they can be replaced and purchased over and over again....I learned I had to accept me...the natural me....I had to accept myself as I truly am. I'm a leader, but I still need to be led. This has opened me up to a whole new world of possibilities.

Now that my ex and I are back on speaking terms....I realize we are probably made for one another, but in this life we have other things to contend with...mainly distance. I don't know if we will ever get back together. I know as long as distance is between us, we won't. I have come to the conclusion, that neither of us can truly do a long distance relationship. It's just too hard. It wears you down and tears you up. The hoping, the wishing, the yearning for each other.....wanting to smell him and his clothes....having him to lay next to me at night....wanting to make raw passionate love to him as the sun rises on a new day.....

I love him unconditionally. It has never ceased.

One day I hope tho. - I do hope that in the greater and grander schemes of life, God has a plan for us. And I just pray that plan has a destiny of he and I being old n gray sitting out on our front pouch swingin in the swinger....on a mid summer night, drinking lemonade and although neither of us are speaking, our souls are having the best conversation of our lives....